My law partner proofread my submission on the Ostrich and discovered a
few grammatical errors and typos. It reminded me of the necessity of proofreading
before posting, or in the case of my clients, proofreading before sending
emails and texts. Emotion is a very dangerous component to your
divorce or child custody proceeding. Emotion triggers responses that we aren’t always proud of months
later when they are read to a judge in court. My client, often embarrassed
by the words being read, will lean over to me and whisper, “sorry,
I was upset”.
While it may be true that they were upset when they sent it, the emotion
doesn’t justify the response and doesn’t help our case. Judges
can rationalize to themselves that the sender of the email or text reacts
using emotion rather than sound parenting skills and behaves the same
way when upset by their children. It may or may not be true, but why run the risk?
Many of my clients forward upsetting emails to me and we discuss them before
the client responds. Some of my clients request that friends or family
members read their responses before they send them. Both strategies accomplish
the goal of removing your negative emotions but often times friends and
family are also too emotionally involved to give a well reasoned opinion.
If you do choose the option of using friends and family members, be sure
to select people that are very conservative and aren’t your normal
sounding board.
Also, If you do opt for the route of having friends and family proofread
before sending, only allow them to read the emails or texts. DO NOT GIVE
THEM BACKGROUND. If it is not on the screen, then it is not relevant because
when the text or email is read in court the lawyer for your spouse is
not going to say, “by the way judge, what you don’t know is
my own client deserved this because they did the same thing two weeks
ago.”
You don’t have to have me or a friend or family member read every
email or text, just the ones your spouse sent to agitate you. Remember,
emails and texts last forever. They are wonderful tools and weapons that
can be used for or against you. Make them work for you by proofreading
and making sure you don’t send anything you wouldn’t want
a judge to read!
Sorry for errors in previous posts and sorry in advance for my inevitable
errors in the future!
Get started with our attorneys on your divorce or child custody case.
Contact Bluestein Johnson & Burke today!